Week 5: Feb. 17th - 23rd

 

Day 31: Monday, Feb. 17th
I got to hold Landon today for the first time since he started getting sick.  He was so sweet.  He fell asleep in my arms while his isolette was being changed.

 They tried placing a PICC line in three different places and they all failed, so he still has the IV and they will try again tomorrow.  He's still getting Lasix for fluid retention as well.  He was up to 10 mL every 4 hours on his feedings though, so that is good news.

Day 32: Tuesday, Feb. 18th
Today is Landon's one-month birthday.  I can't believe it has been a month since he was born.  One month in the NICU down, and hopefully only two and a half left to go.  It's tremendously hard for me to think about him not coming home with me until May.  It's hard to be away from him, not be able to take care of him, and watch him struggle with growing and all of the medical equipment to which he is attached.  It will just be that much sweeter when he gets to come home!

I made Landon this quilt to cover his isolette for his 1 month birthday.

Landon had another transfusion tonight due to low levels of hemogloblin.  His weight is down a little to 850 grams, and he looks a little swollen again.  I got to change a poopy diaper tonight---I loved it!

Day 34: Thursday, Feb. 20th
Landon is doing about the same today.  His CO2 levels are up, so they had had to increase his ventilator needs.  The glycerin enema from last night worked and he has been pooping again, so they increased his breast milk feedings to 14 mL every 4 hours--that is about half an ounce.  Last night he weighed just over 2 lbs, and tonight he is 2lb 1oz.  He is also now measuring 13 3/4 inches long. 

The doctor says infections just affect his little lungs and immature immune system differently from ours.  You can't say that ten days of antibiotics will cure it, because there are other far-reaching effects from the infection that make it even more difficult for him to fight it off.  This includes the damage that the infection has done to his lungs and the fact that they are now filled with fluid.

I pray he will be strong and keep fighting the infection and that his little lungs will grow and get healthy enough to come back off the ventilator.

Day 37: Sunday, Feb. 23rd
Landon had to be started on a drug for yeast yesterday because they found white spots in his throat when they changed his endotrachial tube.  They are going to keep his PICC line in to continue the antibiotics to fight the bacteria in his lungs for a few more days.  They also began fortifying my milk with calories today to help him gain weight more quickly.  He is getting full feeds now--18mL every 4 hours--with 22 calories added to each feeding. 

I can definitely tell that he is getting bigger.  There aren't as many wrinkles on his forehead, and I can't see his entire rib cage as pronounced as it was when he was born.  He is still covered all over in lanugo, the soft fuzzy hair babies have in utero, and I tell Mike that he looks like my little spider monkey.  I wish I could carry him around everywhere with me like monkey mommas do! I keep telling Mike that when he comes home with us that is just what I am going to do and I am never going to put him down!

 I hope he knows, or will come to know, that I am his mom with so many people always handling him and nobody to cuddle him and bond with him.  I worry that we've missed out on that bonding experience that moms and babies experience following normal deliveries.  There is so much that I won't get to experience...I won't get to experience all of his firsts-1st bath, 1st diaper change, 1st cry.  I hope we will still be able to bond and connect once he is feeling better so that he knows I'm his mommy and knows how much I love him, and that I would do anything to protect him and keep him safe.