Week 3: Feb. 3rd - 9th

Day 17: Monday, Feb. 3rd
Landon is almost 1lb 9oz today and his feedings have been increased to 5.5 mL every 4 hours.  I didn't hold him today because I want to be safe since I wasn't feeling well yesterday. His oxygen flow was lowered from 4 Liters Per Minute (LPM) to 3.5 LPM which is great.

The 1.6 lb little baby girl born Friday was gone today.  On Saturday, we heard the nurse crying and telling the mom that she was very sick and they were trying to figure out what was wrong with her.  They had moved her to a private room yesterday, and she was gone today.  It makes me so sad.  This is the most difficult thing I have ever faced, and nobody should have to go through it... let alone go through it only to lose your sweet baby.  I feel guilty when our baby is doing well when other good people, good families, good mothers have suffered a loss of their precious little ones.  I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father that our little one is still with us.  He is our little miracle.

Day 19: Wednesday, Feb. 5th
Landon had some trouble breathing last night, so today his oxygen flow was back up to 5 LPM and the concentration was about 30%.  He had several instances where he stopped breathing (apnea) then his heart rate and oxygen saturation levels would fall, and they would have to go help him recover by turning up his oxygen and rubbing his skin a little to remind him to breathe.  This is really scary for me because he hasn't been doing this up until now.  They took some labs to look for a possible infection, but so far those labs have come back negative and they don't really know why he started doing that all of a sudden.  They changed the time he gets his caffeine and increased his oxygen, and so far it seems to be helping. 

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and everything that happens is a part of God's plan.  So I have finally realized there is a reason that I haven't been able to land a full-time teaching job in the past couple years.  It has been really hard for me to watch so many other people graduate and find jobs.  I have felt like I am just not good enough, so I decided to get my Master's degree and substitute teach in the meantime.  I realize now why I haven't been teaching full time.  My purpose is to take care of this sweet little baby.  I have to be able to pump milk for him every 2-3 hours and need to be able to visit him in the NICU often.  Once he comes home, I will need to stay home with him help him grow and develop and stay healthy and safe.  I also had to spend 16 days in the hospital getting him here.  It would have been extremely difficult to do any of these things if I was teaching full time.  It also would have added a lot of extra stress at an already stressful time.  I am thankful for these little blessings that I am able to notice through this trying time-- things that I may not have considered blessings before now.  It is proof that our Heavenly Father knows what we need better than we do.

Day 20: Thursday, Feb. 6th
Landon has still been having trouble with apnea and bradycardia episodes.  So the nurses put a deeper feeding tube in that goes just past his stomach.  They hope that this will reduce his refluxing and will thereby decrease the number of apnea episodes he is having.  They think he might be aspirating some milk when he refluxes which causes him to stop breathing.  They had to take an x-ray after placing the new tube.  He did not enjoy the procedure at all.  His oxygen is also still up at 5 LPM and they are switching him to continuous feedings so he won't get so much milk so fast.  His feeding rate will be 3.4 mL per hour running continuously.

I held him in his blanket after all this excitement, and he just stayed awake with his eyes wide open the whole time.  He was looking around at things and trying to focus his eyes.  I also got to change his diaper and check his temperature during his care time.  He weighed 1lb 11oz today, so he is starting to get a little bit bigger.

Day 22: Saturday, Feb. 8th
Landon is 3 weeks old today, or 28 weeks gestational age.  Dr. Sheffield told us they are going to take his PICC line out some time tonight.  He should be up to full feedings tomorrow, so they feel it is a good time to get rid of the line--which has been providing supplemental nutrition-- since it adds the risk of infection while it is in him.  I think he'll be happy to be rid of one tube attached to him. 

I got to take his temperature and change his diaper again.  Then I held him skin-to-skin, and it was wonderful.  Mike held him swaddled in a blanket outside the isolette for the first time tonight.  I think he and Landon both loved it.